If you are a regular reader you know quite well that I have been a less than regular blogger lately.
We
are eight days into the new year and nary a post recalling the best of
last year, or the hopes for this one. Not a mention of my word
for 2014. There was no holiday-wrap up, no New Year's wishes. There
was no show of elving done (very little, by the way.) Simply none of
this.
Six of my last ten posts have been a this moment. Really folks, it is a bit of cut and paste, swap out the picture, link to SouleMama.
Badda boom, badda bing. Three minutes from start to publish. Not so
much blogging, as it is making sure people know I am still upright.
So,
about last year. It was a year that knocked my socks off. I've
written a couple times about the amazing challenge of it all. But then I
stopped writing. Mostly because this space isn't about overwhelm and
exhaustion, though I have always included bits of my everyday that show
the flawed humanness of becoming claudine. This space is about beauty
and seeking a creative life and making happy and parenting with
intention and being the glass-half-full gal that I have always been. Always.
Yet,
in my not writing, I've missed much. I've missed this space. I've
missed the goodness I recognize when I reflect and share here. I've missed you.
So I am making my way back. Just as I am making my way back to the beauty, and seeking a creative life, and making happy, and parenting with intention, and being the glass-half-full gal that I am.
I
still don't plan on writing any review of 2013. The holidays are
past. I've yet to even think about my guiding word for 2014.
But there's this.
In October our family planted a Peace Pole in our woods. Our woods. Space that my honey and I have sacrificed so much to get. Woods that, every day, become more sacred to us. And in this special place we claimed peace. Peace.
On
that glorious fall day, we gathered family and friends (and kids - oh
the kids!) to plant this pole with us. Each person had the opportunity
to add their own written intention to be planted with the pole. Anyone
who wanted, added a scoop of dirt to hold the pole in place. Prayers
were prayed. Candles were lit. Songs were sung. May Peace Prevail on Earth
was declared in Slovak, German, Greek and English -- each language
representing part of our heritage. Buddy even made a bracelet to be
raffled. Such a special event has to have a raffle he declared. (Oh he is my son indeed.)
And we were filled. Filled to overflowing with the goodness of these people in our lives, with the beauty of the natural world around us, with the blessings of our children and the humbling responsibility of being their parents, with gratitude for our new home, with the calling to be peaceful.
Filled. Even as I sit here months later, with tears, trying to describe feelings that aren't fully describable.
Every
time I look out my kitchen window I see the very top of that pole.
(Right now it has a little cap of snow atop it.) We were quite
intentional in placing it in that exact spot. By my just seeing the
very top of it, I would be beckoned outside, into the woods, to see the
whole pole. Brilliant. Draw me outside, down some steps, into the
natural world. Get fresh air, be reminded of the call to peace, be
filled with the goodness of that October day.
On New Year's Eve, before our pj festivities of movie-watching and popcorn-eating, I put on my boots and scarf and slipped out the back of the house into the dark. I made my now-familiar walk to the Peace Pole, knowing how many steps down and what spots to go around even as they are covered in snow and darkness.
At the base of the Peace Pole I placed a lit candle, along with my prayer. A prayer of gratitude for 2013, even the socks-knocking-off parts. A prayer of hope and peace for 2014. I grasped the pole tightly with my hands for a moment.
Then quietly headed back to our warm house, and my family waiting.
