right now, I'm

:: Celebrating every item as it gets crossed off of the list.  And feeling good that I've let go of some of the tasks. 

:: Scheming some more creative, and achievable, tasks to add to the list too!

:: Taking time to let go of all of the tasks so that we can instead tackle a much more important puzzle together!

:: Remembering what it feels like to have a belly so big that it rests on my lap.  (And this time around breasts resting on top of that belly, ahem.)

:: Loving the blue skies that have come around this week.

:: Thinking that I am in Downton Abbey withdrawal since I dreamt about it.  Never mind that I was kissing Lord Grantham in the dream.

:: Loving my new Dansko shoes.  Finally something I can wear all day without my back hurting from this big ol' belly of mine.

:: Feeling immense relief and enjoying a bit of quiet, as our sweet old dog (who likes to bark at me for attention) takes a little vacation with my parents.  I believe she has gotten more attention there in four days than she has gotten here in the years since kids have joined the family.

:: Excited that I've finally framed Amanda's "First Day" imprint.  And looking forward with renewed excitement to our first day this coming spring.

:: Glad that I learned to cut mat and frame pictures one summer at a framing shop.  A great skill for a perfectionist like me.  That perfectionism mostly being a blessing, sometimes being a curse.

:: Relaxing to Belleruth Naparstek and her amazing meditations for pregnancy and childbirth.

:: Loving that we've entered a whole new stage of childhood when the rules of Monopoly are understood!  What fun to discover this game again.

:: Admitting that just maybe I have too much drive-thru iced tea when Lovey can recite my order verbatim.  "Large unsweetened iced tea, with two sugar packets, and an extra cup of ice please."  Yes, verbatim.

:: Exceedingly grateful for the support and helping hands that have been gracing our days as we near the birth of our baby.  It is so good to have such loving people in my life.

:: Thankful for the reminder that all of this mess is part of the growing of our family.  I adore this meditation book for mothers.

this moment {kid-made lunch}

Joining Soulemama, and many others, in this moment. 

In Amanda's words: "A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember."

Please link to your moment too -- I love to see what you are savoring this week!

Wishing you a wonderful weekend!

what one packs

I took a tumble yesterday.  Pretty hard onto a cement sidewalk, while holding Lovey.

Lovey was fine.  I like to think partly because of some acrobatics on my part to turn my body just so as I inevitably lurched down toward the concrete.  I, however, got some pretty smart scrapes.  And a trip to labor and delivery, just in case.

My wonderful OB has always been generous with making reassurances that all is okay, and sometimes that means getting checked out, just in case.

My Mama instinct was telling me all was fine.  (And all was.)  But there is always that what if.

What if this will be it?  That for some reason you will go to the hospital and not be leaving until you have a brand new babe in arms.  What does one pack?

What does one pack when you haven't updated your birthing plan, when you haven't completed everything on your nesting list, when you haven't even made a list for what to pack in the birthing bag?

Well, this is what I quickly packed, pretty much in this order:

2 chocolate bars
My camera, with battery charger (when was it last charged anyway?)
A soft silky Happy Nappy made by Nonnie, just in case
A guardian angel medal
Notebook with pencil
Glasses
Comfy pants and sweatshirt and socks
Vitamin E stick, comb and a bit of makeup
And as an afterthought, reading material from next to my bed:  Natural Home and Garden magazine and the latest from SouleMama and Papa
I tossed in my ID and insurance card for good measure, which ended up being important

Funny how we are and what we do when the day's events change as quickly as a turned ankle and a fall to the ground.

Funny what we find essential at a moment's notice.

Funny it is.

And yes, writing my birth bag packing list is moving up in priority on the to-do list.  After all, absent from what I packed yesterday was a toothbrush.

the trade off

On my to-do list that is totally unrelated to my getting ready for baby list has been some Christmas presents.

Yes, you read that right, Christmas presents.

Presents that in late November seemed totally do-able in time for the holidays.  Even in December seemed possible, if only maybe made during the 12 days, and mailed before New Years.

Presents that soon seemed more appropriate for Valentine's Day, but then a little late.

So last week I finally, finally, finished up, packaged up, and mailed out some presents for far-away cousins and friends.  Some Soulemama-inspired pencil and crayon rolls with big sketchbooks.

Wonder how I got this done?  A trade-off of course.  I pretended not to see this for a couple of days.

Lunch consisting of crackers and dry cereal...umm, topped with honey.

Playtime messes.  Everywhere.

Wee bit more screen time than I usually like...with pajamas lingering well into the day.

But what a couple glorious, sitting-at-my-sewing-machine, loving-every-minute-of-it, days.

Hope you are enjoying something glorious for yourself!

this moment {snow, finally}

Joining Soulemama, and many others, in this moment. 

In Amanda's words: "A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember."

Please link to your moment too -- I love to see what you are savoring this week!

Wishing you a wonderful weekend!

handmade

Is there anything much sweeter than handmade Valentine cards?

I think not.

Except maybe handmade origami Valentine cards.  One for each and every classmate.

Which makes me love him all the more.

Sending my Hugs and Kisses on this Valentine's Day!

loveliness

This is what most of my house looks like right now. 

Furniture strewn about, mattresses upended against walls, piles of books, clothes, toys and trinkets.  Yes, we are well into the list, and at current count have moved 9 or 10 large pieces of furniture to different spots in the house.  Some pieces up two flights, some down two flights, some into the next room, or into the attic for storage, and one large and comfortable chair that lived a good life, unfortunately, moved out for the trash.  Luckily as our family has grown and our space has evolved over the years we've made great use of what we have, and many pieces of furniture have found different spots and varied use in our cozy house.

I've been quite buoyed by a recent comment by Mama Scout extoling the virtues of living in a smaller home and the joy (and chaos) that comes with shared space.  So, with her encouragement, I am well into decluttering and making the most of every inch of space that we have, knowing that there will be quite a mess before it is all put back together again.  I am quite good at seeing in my mind's eye the end result, and quite good at creating a disaster getting there.

Amidst all of this mess, I've decided to share some bits of loveliness too.  Some are projects I've completed, or presents given to me, some are even things crafted during the holidays.  I've had pictures of all of them, but not the chance yet to share, so I will do so over the next couple weeks when there may not be so much to photograph of the piles and paintbrushes and boxes of clutter.

Today I will share these tile coasters that were sent to me from a dear friend.  The colorful flower paper is decoupaged to the front of the tile, and felt covers the entire bottom of the tile making them quiet and furniture safe.  The weight of each is pleasantly heavy and they can be used not just for drinks, but for hot dishes at mealtimes too.

I've especially enjoyed using them at my sewing machine, though admittedly the hardest part is picking which to use, because I love the flowers on each and every one.

Loveliness indeed, made more lovely by the generous giver!

this moment {passing time}

Joining Soulemama, and many others, in this moment. 

In Amanda's words: "A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember."

Please link to your moment too -- I love to see what you are savoring this week!

Wishing you a wonderful weekend!

naptime

This is my view as I write this post on my iPad in the car.

Naptime.

That glorious stretch of quiet when a Mama can do what is needed, or sometime even what she wants.

Some laundry, some reading, some watching of Downton Abbey.  If really lucky, a sewing project that has patiently waited day after day.

Oh, if only it were so these days.

Lovey, in her quest (and our encouragement ) of becoming a bigger kid, seems to not want naps. She is straddling that tricky time of a little's life when one needs a nap, but there is far more exciting endeavors than resting your weary eyes.  I am sure that I haven't helped so much when we don't do the exact. same. routine. every. day.  (If only I were that kind of Mama. I am not. I doubt I ever will be.)

Though sometimes Mama-luck strikes and Lovey nurses a bit, nods off, her mouth slipping off of "milky" and I able to slip off of the bed and do those wonderful things I want to.  This is rare.

Often naps begin that way, but with a sleeping, firmly-latched Lovey.  When I try to unlatch a happily latched toddler, she cries.  And cries.   I cry.  And cry.

Crying is not napping.

Then there are days like today.

Today I decided that after miserable crying yesterday, I may as well make the most of nap, and run errands with only one little in tow. After all, it won't be long that this time of day will only include one little.

So with a short list of stops; bank, paint store, jeweler, we made our way about town, glorious blue sky and sunshine surrounding us.

Then Lovey recognized the ice cream shop and said "we get ice cream?" her voice lilting up with the question and the hope.

Oh, ice cream with only one in tow. That is definitely something a Mama wants to do during Naptime.

on less, and ultimately more

When I made the decision in the fall to stay at home full time I was anxious to be able to slow.  I longed for less.  A simpler routine, less to manage, less to think about. When I worked, albeit part time, I found that my mind was constantly three minutes, three hours, or three days ahead of the present moment.  And being three days ahead of yourself makes it really hard to be, well, present in the present.  I remember sharing with my sister that I simply needed to not constantly be thinking about what was next.  To instead have some mental time and space.

Interestingly (though likely not surprisingly), while I do have more time and space these days, it certainly doesn't feel more simple.  It actually feels like my thinking has come to a screeching halt, that is when it is not wandering around aimlessly.

It seems that all of my busy-ness for such a long time served the purpose of keeping me aptly and critically thinking.  Yes, and juggling all things, because I had to.  But now the balls I juggle seem completely different, and I am not used to their weight or feel.  And if one drops, the consequences are different than before.  For such a long time I was forced to think ahead and always be readying for what was next, my thoughts and actions often directed by things external.  And now that I have the time and space to live a life directed from the internal, I am not quite sure how to do so, or where to start.  Not yet anyway.

When I decided to stay at home I remember anticipating how I could use my time creatively and focus on creating a home of calm and compassion, creativity and joy.  I am oh so far from those things, but still see them as my meaningful pursuit.   I simply know I have a lot of thinking to do to get there...

Who knew that going from working Mama to stay at home Mama could be so difficult?  Maybe you did.  I didn't.  And if you have good insight, please oh please, do share.

loving {iPhone}

Several years ago hubby bought me an iPhone so that I could always have a camera nearby.  I have the thousands of pictures on that little ol' phone to prove that it has been put to good use.  Some day I will get an upgrade to the iPhone 4s.  Sure I will get along with Siri just fine, but it is the camera quality and speed that I am most excited about.

Even though I usually have my regular camera close at hand, I don't always, and I find that on the phone I capture things a bit differently.  Things I may not always see with my other camera in hand.  Things I find fun or funny, interesting or sweet.

Here are some of my recent takes, it seems we've been getting outside as much as we can, no matter the weather:

Also...many thanks for the affirming comments recently (and the very kind e-mail from Tamara), sending support during this crazy anxious time for me!  It is such a good feeling to know I have real-life friends and blog friends that are sending love my way!

this moment {sunshine}

Joining Soulemama, and many others, in this moment. 

In Amanda's words: "A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember."

Please link to your moment too -- I love to see what you are savoring this week!

Wishing you a wonderful weekend!

right now, I'm

:: Re-discovering how much I adore (and honestly, need) pre-natal yoga.  Gurmukh Kaur Khalsa is a superstar in my book.
:: Happy I've finally been able to make and send along to Tonya, a very patient giveaway winner, the Loving Hands Pillow.  Lesson learned.  Have the giveaway ready before, ahem, giving it away.
:: Enjoying the spring-like sunshine and breezes, even if just for a few days.  The fresh air is divine.
:: Feeling pride in Honey, who runs, even in the freezing cold.
:: Loving all of the creating going on around here by kids and grown-ups alike.  (Painting jobs on the nesting list count, don't they?)
:: Relishing the mornings spent in pjs, playing games.
:: Grateful for an amazing OB that always makes the littles feel like they have an important job during my pre-natal visits.  Always.