wintering

Well is seems that winter has fully unpacked its bags, settled in and is planning to stay awhile.

It is these next few weeks, this unending stretch of cold days, that make me long for a glimpse of spring.  Make me want for a very cloudy February 2nd, with no possibility of the groundhog seeing her shadow.

I like the hope that that little ol' groundhog brings.  Just maybe, maybe, this year there will be no shadow and spring will come sooner.  Ah, lovely elusive sooner.

But in the mean time we are full in wintering.

The cold outside is so very cold.

Shovels ever at the ready.

Icicles decorating even the smallest things.

The house covered as if hiding.

Yet, the warm inside is so very welcome. 

Pajamas worn well into the day.

Scarfs always near, ready to be wrapped around a neck and worn about the house.

 Piles of flannel and down and flannel.

 Layers.  Always wearing layers.

And much kitcheny goodness.
Bread, soup, tea, hot coffee.  All.  Day.  Long.

I don't mind this time of hibernation, knowing that as spring comes around and then summer rushes in, that little kid bodies covered in play-inspired perspiration and fun-had dirt are less likely to linger for  kisses and bundley snuggles.

So, I simply wrap that waiting scarf, pour more coffee and set up my own camp on the living room rug, ready to play.

16 candles

I went bowling on my 16th birthday.  It wasn't a bowling party.  It wasn't anything planned.

A friend from school simply showed up to our house with another friend of his (I think it was because that friend had a car) and took me to the bowling alley in the nearest town to celebrate.  I didn't even know that they knew it was my birthday.

That was excitement for a girl turning 16 years old who grew up in a pretty rural area and bowling was a fun night out in town, even though I was not a stellar bowler and gutter balls were par for the course.  Ooof, can I mix my sports metaphors?

Anyway, this spontaneous date of sorts was exciting.  I remember feeling grown up and mature and, well, liked. 

But those feelings don't hold a candle to the feelings of wonder and happiness as I watch my own son learn the sport of bowling.  Wonder at how he is growing in this world.  Happiness that he is gaining confidence and learning about friendships.

But mixed in with that wonder and happiness is the bittersweet layer of letting go.  Letting him go to learn his own technique for getting that 8 pound ball down the lane.  Letting him go to understand for himself how he can be a kind friend.  Letting him go to get a strike, a spare or the dreaded gutter ball of life.

So the letting go is hard, as many of you Mamas understand.  I am just thankful that at this age the bumpers that block the gutters are automatically pulled up and any ball that is hurled, rolled, dropped or pushed down the lane eventually makes it to the end and knocks some pins down.

I just hope I always know when I need to be those bumpers.

what I am discovering: my word {2011}

As promised I've crafted something with my word on it.

It isn't fancy, it truly was a "pull things from the Mommy sewing bin and whip up a plaque in 20 minutes" kind of project.

But it is good for now.  It is hanging in the window near my computer.  So not only do I see the word daily, but just beyond my word it a wider world outside.

I plan to write here throughout the year specifically about what I am discovering.

So bear with me.  It could get messy.

And it certainly won't always, or nearly ever, be organized or polished or well-written.

But it will be me.  And that is what discovery is all about now isn't it?

I hope that my writing about my discoveries will give me good perspective on my growth and meaning-making of this year.

So, I will post my discoveries.  Large.  Small.  Incredibly tiny.  And possibly some {re}discoveries as they come back into my life and understanding.

I am thankful to the kind people who read -- some who know me personally, and others who only know me as "becoming claudine."  I am thankful to you as a community who can respond and  give me insight about my journey in discovering.

what I am discovering:

• that a bit of exercise in the morning helps, even if it is 8 minutes with Billy Blanks of Tae-Bo fame
• that having a sister who will let you borrow her coveted cowgirl boots is a treasure
• that watching "The Price is Right" not only  makes you feel like you are back in college (when I actually had time to watch TV) but it gives you a good feeling that you too could win the Showcase Showdown
• that having faith that it will all work out for the best is hard, really hard, incredibly hard
• that the Spirit often moves people into your path to help you have that needed faith
• that a positive attitude can fix a great deal of things as the wheels are seemingly coming off 
• that I love life

this moment

A Friday ritual in which I join Soulemama, and many others, in sharing a single photo.

In her words: "A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.  A simple, special, extraordinary moment.  A moment I want to pause, savor and remember."

Please share a link to your moment in the comments for others to find and enjoy.


Wishing you a playful weekend!

passing time

When you are a kid and your parents have dragged you to see the doctor en masse at 7:00 pm, there are only so many things you can do to pass the time.

After all, with three sick kiddos to be checked out, that is one loooong doctor's visit.  Close to an hour to be exact.

But our kids, well our kids know how to live it up at the doctor's office, yessiree they do.  They easily passed the time by:

1. Playing chase around the little patient bed

2. Washing hands in the stainless steel sink, using lots of medicinal soap

3. Twirling the doctor's chair in circles, it is on casters after all

4. Trying to play with the computer keyboard that is clearly "off limits" according to Mom and Dad

5. Writing on the paper that covers the little patient bed

6.  Hiding behind the little patient bed

7. Trying to sneak in some "hands on" time with the knee hammer and ear-looker, thank goodness the blood pressure cuff was out of reach

8.  Licking the mirror that is on the back of the door

9.  Continuing to lick the mirror on the back of the door because it is making the doctor laugh

10.  Oh, and sitting as nicely as can be when it was their turn and breathing deeply at the right times, and saying "AHH" with mouths exactly wide open and being brave during the throat culture

You would have thought they felt just fine.  

You would have thought we were from the circus.

However the exertion of such a fun family trip took its toll.  Kiddos were in pajamas and sleeping within minutes of arriving back home.

And I promise, no more talk of sickness around here.  I am using my Mama power to will good health to everyone, myself included. 

Oh, I almost forgot.

That doctor who was so amused with Munchkin licking the mirror...

This is him.  He is great.  He is super nice.  He is the doctor for the whole family. 

And he is super cute.  We love him.  And not just because he is super cute.  Ok, maybe just a little.

Which makes going to the doctor a little less painful.

Well, hope wherever you are you are well!

what I'm seeing

Today, really this week, has been spent seeing family life as it is when kids are sick.

All.  Three.  Kids.

The trifecta, really.

So what I've been seeing, and doing, around the house is a bit different than usual.

Folded laundry, trying to keep us with the disinfecting.

Watching videos, remote in hand.

Oh meds, meds, meds.  (We've always tried to use them sparingly, but this time with fevers oh so high, we think it important.)

Playing in this cool house, in this cold season, in only a onesie.

The computer on Pandora, instead of the preferred Blogger. Ahem.  I know it has only been a few days, but it feels like forever since I've posted. 

Endless hand-washing.

Delicious home-made chicken soup thawing.

Oh, wait, what is this?

A few moments.

A nursing, sleeping baby on my lap.  Hmm, maybe I can post after all.

That is until I hear back from the doctor's office.

Hope everyone is well where you are!

Oh, these cold winter days children

Ah, that is a direct quote from my husband, with the slightest sigh in his voice.

I admit we are having a bit of cabin fever around here. 

I admit I am having a bit of creative fever around here.

That fever reached a peak yesterday. 

My mind had been going in multiple directions most of the morning.  My must-do list.  E-mail.  A Valentine's project idea.  iPhone messages.  I was really struggling to focus on my children, focus on the day we had together, focus on being present.

I needed something to focus myself.  And fast.

I thought to write some words on a piece of paper and hang it above the kitchen sink.  Yes, that would be affirming for some focus and presence.  Good.

Got out the scrap paper.  Wrote several words on the scraps.

The scrap paper happened to have holes punched in the corners.  Oh, wouldn't that look nice strung on a ribbon?

Sure.  Simple.

Some quick swipes of the pinking shears and a tab of scotch tape.

Voila.  A Mama-Mobile.  (I should so trademark that name.)

And even though the mobile isn't a work of art, or something that will likely hang for long, just seeing it makes me smile.

For these crazy days of young children and close quarters together inside are fleeting.

And somehow, that three minute project satiated my creative need for a bit, and I could focus.

On my children, on our day, on being present.

As I let go of my must-do, my e-mail, my creative ideas, I made space to enjoy.  And it was my children that chose creative activities for which I could be fully present.

Hmmmm, maybe they were having some creative fever too.

Thankfully, Mama knows the cure for that.

Yes, in the picture above is the dinosaur costume from Halloween, it gets lots of wear around here.  And if you are curious, the icon is St. Euphrosynos The Cook.  (I believe he intercedes much more often when I am the one in the kitchen!)

this moment

A Friday ritual in which I join Soulemama, and many others, in sharing a single photo.

In her words: "A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.  A simple, special, extraordinary moment.  A moment I want to pause, savor and remember."

Please share a link to your moment in the comments for others to find and enjoy.

Wishing you a weekend of joyful anticipation!

missing

I've been missing writing, and certainly missing you, dear readers. 

However, my week has been filled with the snuggling of sick kids.  Oh, and the important healing of a sick Mama.

What? 

A sick Mama. 

I thought I had mastered willing that not to be. 

Seriously, I think for the most part I have mastered it, but did give in to a slight sickness this week.  And luckily knew enough to just keep sleeping, drink lots of tea, and most importantly, spend an entire day snuggled on the couch with a little boy who was also sick.

We filled our day with watching videos.  We never do that!  So being sick felt a bit like a special day spent with Winnie the Pooh, and The Little People, and Pete's Dragon.

Mercifully I am feeling better now.

And have caught up a bit on laundry and some house cleaning.

Oh, and some cookie baking.

No better medicine I know of than cookies.

Giant.  Chocolate.  Sugar.  Cookies.

Baby sister wasn't sick.  But sneaking bites sure had her feeling good!

my word {2011}

I have it.

I have my word.

Finally.

There was much contemplation.  Much deliberation.

I had even embraced a couple different words.  But not too tightly.

So when the right word came to me, it was apparent.

I think so much of my year is going to be about discovering.

Everything that I wish to explore and consider and try on is all about discovering the best of me.  The best of me in this amazing, complex, unbelievable, crazy, exciting time in my life right now.

So I have my word, and some interesting ideas of how to share with all of you what it is I am discovering.  I would love for you to discover along with me.

Please share with me, and the other readers, how you are embracing and making sense of your word of the year.

commence pillow making

I had a moment yesterday, one that I have had a few times so far as a parent, and one that I imagine will be repeated time and time again as my children grow.

I was upstairs, attending to a just-waking Baby Sister, when I heard the sewing machine humming.

The sound, almost startling, made me pause.  Pause and amaze.  This sound was the sound of my son using the sewing machine.  On.  His.  Own.

Over the years, and even as recently as last week, we have sewn together. 

Over the years he has also learned how to thread the machine, use the reverse lever and pressure foot, pin and cut with patterns, push the necessary buttons to fill the bobbin.  But this, this was the first time he was using the machine by himself.

So the sound gave me pause and a touchstone for how my child is growing.  Each day.

He was sewing pillows.  Pillows for the heroes who have come to be part of our lives here.

I am happy to report they are settling in quite well, I think mostly because their sleeping arrangements are so so comfortable with handmade pillows.

Pillow-making for more heroes (and, ugh, villains) yet to be gotten is underway.  I imagine blanket-making is next.

And this most creative boy.  I think he has some apprentices.