this moment {delicious company}

Joining SouleMama, and many others, in this weekly ritual of pausing to savor a moment from the week.

A single picture with no words.  Beautifully simple.  Extraordinarily lovely.

I love to see your moments too, so leave a link in the comments!

Wishing you a yummy weekend!

squeezing in some sewing

Ever since getting Amanda's book last year I've wanted to make the so sweet Adelaide's Pillowcase Dress for Lovey.

What better motivation than a beach vacation?  None I can think of.

So several weeks ago I found some great pillowcases at the thrift store and started the dress.  Important word here is started.

So the afternoon before vacation, this Mama, amidst packing and lists and many other to-dos needing to be done, insisted instead on first finishing the dress.

Which I did.

In plenty of time.

And with such sweet results!

Admittedly, she preferred wearing her bathing suit most of the time, asking over and over "Suit? Suit?"  Even sleeping in it a couple nights.  Good thing the dress has plenty of room to grow into, so it is ready for beach trips next summer.

Though I do have some more cute pillowcases waiting...

and there is us

While on vacation we got to have an actual date, my Honey and I.

For.  Six.  Hours.

Oh, that is so rare.  Considering the cost of babysitters.  For three littles.  Ahem.

How lucky were we to have many, many free babysitters or our anniversary this year?  Oh so lucky.

So we took full advantage of exploring art and architecture and some handcrafted beer in the little beach town where we were staying.  We talked and laughed and even got to squeeze in a movie together.

Loved every minute of the six hours.  (Unfortunately, I can't say the same for the taste of every of the six beer samples.)

Happy Anniversary Honey! 

On our wedding day.

there and back again

A long vacation far from home seems so very magical to me.  The time away seeming to stretch out, possibilities for how to spend the days as endless as the days themselves.

Our recent family vacation was filled with sand, sun and family.  Lots of family.

And, did I mention, lots of sand.

Photo by my sister

Photo by Nonnie

And brilliant colors.

And relaxing.  Such a rare treat for this Mama.

Photo by Nonnie

And a whole lot of Knitting.  Reading.  Mothering. Often simultaneously.

Photo by Nonnie

And seeing things never seen before.  Really seeing them.

Photo by my sweet sister, whose hands weren't wrist deep in sand at the time.

And a wee and Wii bit of screen time, quite a treat thanks to cousins.

And learning that Poppy is the very best kid tosser! (He had lots of practice with the Aunties.)

Tossing photos by Nonnie

And growing confidences at the pool.

And making connections and memories for these nine cousins, that will surely last forever.

Oh, and one pretty fabulous synchronized swimming routine by the Aunties.  (Truth be told, we could have benefited from more than one practice!  I'll spare you the video.)

Photo by Poppy

I also believe the journey home a magical one too.

A returning to your life as you know it.  Re-acclimating with your rooms and gardens and routines.  The memory of vacation like a warm recollection of a happy dream.

A very happy dream.

this moment {first pedicure}

Joining SouleMama, and many others, in this weekly ritual of pausing to savor a moment from the week.

A single picture with no words.  Beautifully simple.  Extraordinarily lovely.

I love to see your moments too, so leave a link in the comments!

Wishing you a lovely, loving weekend!

becoming {mj}

I am so happy in this series to introduce you to several wonderful women who share their personal reflections on becoming.

MJ is a beautiful blogger who writes about her journey of discovery at Wander Wonder Discover.

As I sit here now and try to define the lines of who I am, all I can come up with is mother, wife, homemaker, soul seeker, reader, writer, blogger and maker of things that bring me happiness. Yet I know I am so much more. The depth of a human soul cannot be encompassed by these simple definitions. There are no dimensions to what I can read off of a page. And there is nothing in these words that give feeling or elude to the experiences, challenges and trials that brought me to this point in my life. Becoming is an emotional journey and a journey of the soul. I know that now. It is not the phases of childhood, teen hood or adulthood. It is not getting married or having children, getting a job or becoming promoted. These are only the human opportunities given to our soul to learn how to live--to cry, to fall, to love, to laugh, and fight back. Becoming is giving ourselves the freedom to shine and break free of all the things that once held us back.

I have never had the urge as I have now in these days to share the many dimensions of me. I want to turn my troubling experiences to pieces of triumph, to wear them as badges of courage and know that I have earned the right to every one of them. This is showing my feathers, my true colors, my confidence that I know who I am now more than ever. My past resides comfortably with my present, and together I embrace them, knowing that this union affects every day that is lucky enough to come next.

My world is now. It's always now, and giving my heart to each moment I live is the key to my happiness. Let your soul shine free, let nothing hold you back in giving your heart to your world. Show all of you without fear, and let yourself become who you've always known yourself to be. That is my wish for you, that is my wish for me :).

xx oo

becoming {g}

I am so happy in this series to introduce you to several wonderful women who share their personal reflections on becoming.

G is a compassionate blogger who writes about her discoveries of self and the world in which she lives at Through My Eyes.

 

In graduate school, I spent many hours studying identity development, so when I think of the idea of becoming this is my frame of reference.  I think of theorists like Maslow, Perry, Chickering, Myers-Briggs, Baxter-Magolda and Belenky.  I think of dualism, ways of knowing, managing emotions.  So, when I think of becoming it has generally been in an academic sense.

I’ve come to know myself well, now that I’m in my mid-thirties.  I know my strengths as being organized, diplomatic, driven, visionary.  I work hard to humanize processes that can be devoid of affect.  I try to parent with a little of what my parents taught me, a little understanding of early childhood development, and a huge dose of making it up as I go along!  I think of myself as a spiritual person, though what that means has changed along the journey.  I have a strong interest in social justice and diversity, though I'm only beginning work on what those mean in my every day.

I’ve always done things the right way, been the good kid (just ask my siblings), and accepted right and wrong as others taught it.  I’ve been a church-going Christian, heavily involved in worship and music in every church I’ve attended.  That has been important to me.  I’ve accepted Christianity as the Truth - not evangelical or conservative by any stretch, but certainly naive and narrow.

I’m well aware of my weaknesses, too.  My patience is not great, I am very critical and judgmental, and I usually know a better way to get things done (just ask my husband).  The worst thing for me is to be right, but I often am (or at least unchallenged).  So, I’ve found loads of success in applying my judgment to decision-making and planning.  All of my professional career, this skill has gained me accolades and promotions.  I use the same skill to manage our home, the kids' schooling, our community involvement, and our time off. 

Despite the success I’ve had, I still lump my judgment into the deficit category.  For I tend to miss the moments that make life special.  A change in plans or a bump in the road make me a really ugly person.  My impatience makes me good at being angry and I hate that part of me.  I tend to be so far forward thinking that I miss the things that could genuinely make me happy - the things that are right here, right now.

Becoming me has been about more than discovering my genuine self.  It has been about digging deep and searching for ways to move beyond my weaknesses.  Some of the motivation for this journey of becoming has been about me - a strong desire to stop feeling so anxious, a strong desire to listen fully and thoughtfully, a strong desire to find inner peace, a strong desire to develop a sense of spirituality that fuels and sustains me. 

But, even more so, this journey has been about wanting to be a better person for those in my life, especially my children.

source

There are a few models that come to mind when I think of who I would like to emulate.  They are wise, genuine, honest, patient, in the moment, caring, compassionate, loving and always acting in the best interest of others.  Some examples include Mother Teresa, Ghandi, and Albus Dumbledore (yes, I want to be like a fictional character!).  But where these examples fall short for me is that none of them have children.  Perhaps the most perplexing question for me in my journey of becoming is can I love and find peace and wisdom as these folks have within the framework of my family.  I am not willing to commit to a journey of inner peace and selfless giving that does not include my husband and children.  I've been unable to find a model who also has a family. 

Though, I have found a few special teachers  . . .

My children have taught me the beauty that happens in the moment with every "Mommy do you want to see what I can do?"  They've taught me patience with every marker-colored body part.  They've taught me to be more flexible with every "Mommy, please" with no real good reason not to.  And I know that I don't want to miss a moment of learning from my children.

This journey has been jarring - leading me to a world where there are multiple truths, meditative moments, new discoveries, magical moments with my children, fear that I will venture far enough on the journey to find myself alone, a new found connection with my husband.  I'm not sure what the journey has in store and I have no idea where I am going on this journey, but I have committed to it and am eager to see what I can become.

Lessons taught by my wee three can be found at Through My Eyes along with rest of my journey of becoming.  

becoming {cory}

I am so happy in this series to introduce you to several wonderful women who share their personal reflections on becoming.

Cory is a lovely blogger who writes about her family and farm adventures at Lady Cordelia.

There was a time in my life in which there was nothing but time.  A long stretch of flat road.  No sign posts.   I was so sad then, and longing only for this: a family of my own.  A husband who would see the real me.  Sweet little children. 

Back in those days, I had little furniture.  I never cooked.  In fact, I didn’t eat much either.  I did a lot of yoga, went out with bad men who didn’t have a clue and drank my fair share of wine while waiting for them to approve of me. I even smoked, especially when a loser man would break up with me.  I cried A LOT.  It is always horrible to be dumped by a jerk.   In the long run, of course, you find it’s a bonus.  But in the short run, it’s like that Groucho Marx quote that Woody Allen made so famous:  “I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.”  In other words, I wasn’t interested in nice men.  I liked men who wouldn’t budge. I had a somewhat unconscious and twisted strategy: if I could budge an unwilling man, I would be awesome.

Simply: one day I woke up and I was done with “The Unwilling.”  Really.  One day I woke up, after about 10 years of hard and deep work, and I went on a date with Brad.

And here we are. 

In today’s world I suppose my main challenges are (in no particular order):

1. Keeping up on laundry

2. Keeping the yard looking nice when there are too many animals in it.

And that’s pretty much it.   Yep, that’s it.  I am the person I longed to be.  When I think of “becoming” and how it applies to myself, I could say that I would like to become a better gardener.   Or the type of person that would be less attached to having a clean house.   You know, if I just had to force myself to come up with something.

See: I wake up to a snoring husband and little voices saying “Mama, can you read me Pippi Longstocking?”   

To my own sense of self, I’ve become.

becoming {claudine}

Recently I was in a local pizza place waiting to pick up my pizza when a man came up to me and politely said, "I must ask you ma'am (ma'am, hrmph) why do you keep that pencil there?  Is it to remember which is your left ear?"  

I had a bright pink pencil behind my left ear, as I usually do.  Sometimes the pencil is behind the left ear, sometimes behind the right ear, every once in awhile I realize I have pencils behind both.

The response that immediately came to mind was "Because I'm a writer."

But that is not what I said.  I babbled a bit about how I keep a pencil handy and journals handy, going so far as to open my purse and pull out one of my beloved Moleskins, flipping it open to notes jotted inside, as if to show him that I actually do use the pencil behind my ear.

He gave me a smile and walked away.

Which left me wondering, why didn't I respond "Because I'm a writer."

I certainly think of myself as a writer.  Just like I think of myself as a photographer.  But whenever I share that information with others it comes out as "I take pictures" or "I do a little photography, just a bit on the side."

There is something shy and small and, perhaps, a bit embarrassing in saying so.  I'm fearful in proclaiming:
"I'm a writer!" or "I'm a photographer!" or even "I'm a poet!"

How does someone become any one of those anyway?  What determines that you have reached that status, filled that role?  Who gets the say so?

And beyond a single role or passion or profession, how does someone fully become self?  Truly, the wonderful, unique, voluminous, complex self?

That, my dear readers, is a bit what this blog is about.  A space in which I write, photograph and tell stories of my becoming self.  becoming claudine.  And by your reading and responding, this journey of becoming is infinitely more enjoyable.  After all, isn't it that way, especially with women.  Making meaning through the act of story telling and the joy of relationships.

So it is with much pleasure that this week I am hosting three guest bloggers, each sharing a personal reflection on her own becoming.  And each approaching this topic in a unique and thoughtful way.

I hope you enjoy hearing their stories as much as I do.  After all, can't we all be part of helping others make meaning by listening to their stories, and allowing for the joy of relationship?

vacationing

Pedicure lovingly done my my sweet sweet niece!

I'm digging my toes in the sand this week.  (audible:  sigh and exhale, then inhaling wonderful fresh air.)  I am very lucky to get some time to rest and relax and take deep breaths.  And be with wonderful family, who support and rejuvinate me.

That doesn't mean that this space will be quiet though.  I have some very interesting things planned starting on Monday.

I hope you enjoy!
Claudine

this moment {bubbles}

Joining SouleMama, and many others, in this weekly ritual of pausing to savor a moment from the week.

A single picture with no words.  Beautifully simple.  Extraordinarily lovely.

I love to see your moments too, so leave a link in the comments!

Wishing you a wonderful weekend, squeaky clean and oh so fun!