discovering

If you've been reading for awhile you know that this year I am on a journey of discovering.

Discovering as much as possible.

I've been discovering some little things, like:
* board game rules are completely relative to a pre-schooler
* kids helping in the kitchen takes twice as long, but is twice as fun
* laundry never ends (wait that is kind of a big thing...there is aLOT of laundry here)

I've been discovering some big things, like:
* I am ready to change my work life
* I am afraid to change my work life

This is a bit about it:
I want to be able to create in many different ways every day:  with my hands, my camera, my voice.  And with that creating, I want to make just enough of a living to be more present with my family, more present in the every day moments of my life, and be more present to the creative life to which I am called.

That I know.

I also am discovering that what is holding me back in making this change is fear.

That yucky four letter word.

Fear of failure.

Fear that it could be a disastrously wrong decision.

Fear that I am no-way, no-how good enough.

Fear that once change has begun, I can't retreat to to my current place of confidence in my work life.

So this fear is getting the best of me.  It is keeping me in my comfort zone,  in my life of certain and stable and capable.

But the desire to take that leap of faith, to grab onto the daydreams and beauty and creativity won't subside either.

So I am discovering that there is a fine line between comfort and constriction...

I am ready.  I think.  See, that hesitancy is always lingering near...

So, tell me dear readers, how do you know when and where and how to grab onto that dream?

Do tell.